Living with OCD Interviews:
Laveda
Laveda
Laveda was in her 30s when we first spoke. Laveda taught me about how even forms of OCD that seem more recognizable by the public, such as contamination concerns, can manifest in ways more unique ways.
In Laveda's words:
"The earliest memory I have of when my OCD started is fifth grade. My OCD started with counting and numbers. I felt I needed to go to bathroom x number of times and wash my hands x number of times before going to sleep. I think this was short lived because the OCD quickly transferred into fearing contamination from a certain boy at school. This boy was gross. He picked his nose and flicked his boogers, but I was out of control with feeling contaminated from him. I remember if he walked by I would basically push myself against my locker so he would not touch me. . . . I would go home and shower for a long time. I would bring my shoes in the shower with me to clean them and scrub scrub SCRUB. I then would be afraid to go downstairs with the rest of the family in fear of being re-contaminated. I would double up my pajamas so that after I watched TV or whatever I could take the top layer off and sleep "clean" with my other pajamas. The worst things I did to not get contaminated was urinate in my bed so I wouldn't have to get recontaminated stepping on the floor. . . . I would not tell my parents about any of this. Once I showered too long and the water leaked through the second floor down into the first floor ceiling. My mom forbid me to take showers after school. . . . I don't really know how my parents could not have known or seen the abnormality or smelled my room. I did have a wonderful family. . . .
This kind of contamination went on . . . and then it transferred to a different person. One of my best friends! . . . [I] feared I would become a lesbian if 'contaminated' by her. . . . I stopped all contact with this girl. . . . I feared getting cross contaminated from her by my other two best friends who were still in contact. I would not talk to them. Every store I went to, running outside, playing tennis in the neighborhood, I was always on the lookout for seeing her, her mom, or her grandparents. . . . I began hanging out in the bathroom before school and skipping homeroom as to avoid her. If on the first day of class I found out I had some classes with her, I would go to the Dean and switch my classes. . . . I worked at an ice cream store during high school and one evening her grandparents came in. I left through the back ally door and then called up the store and told them I threw up and was embarrassed and left for home. I ran all the way home as to avoid them driving by and contaminating me. . . .
She is still the subject of my obsession more that 20 years later. . . . [I think she lives in another city but] I still feel that I always see her. In every restaurant I go to, grocery store, etc. . . . Pretty much every day I ask someone [if they are this person.] . . . Another big difficulty I have is my dad's house. He still has games from when I was growing up and I am always thinking about that. If one of my relatives visits, the games come out and then I can't go to his house for weeks until the contamination is 'worn off.' . . .
I have been married for 20 years. I am a registered nurse part-time. Really the only stressful thing in my life is OCD."
"The earliest memory I have of when my OCD started is fifth grade. My OCD started with counting and numbers. I felt I needed to go to bathroom x number of times and wash my hands x number of times before going to sleep. I think this was short lived because the OCD quickly transferred into fearing contamination from a certain boy at school. This boy was gross. He picked his nose and flicked his boogers, but I was out of control with feeling contaminated from him. I remember if he walked by I would basically push myself against my locker so he would not touch me. . . . I would go home and shower for a long time. I would bring my shoes in the shower with me to clean them and scrub scrub SCRUB. I then would be afraid to go downstairs with the rest of the family in fear of being re-contaminated. I would double up my pajamas so that after I watched TV or whatever I could take the top layer off and sleep "clean" with my other pajamas. The worst things I did to not get contaminated was urinate in my bed so I wouldn't have to get recontaminated stepping on the floor. . . . I would not tell my parents about any of this. Once I showered too long and the water leaked through the second floor down into the first floor ceiling. My mom forbid me to take showers after school. . . . I don't really know how my parents could not have known or seen the abnormality or smelled my room. I did have a wonderful family. . . .
This kind of contamination went on . . . and then it transferred to a different person. One of my best friends! . . . [I] feared I would become a lesbian if 'contaminated' by her. . . . I stopped all contact with this girl. . . . I feared getting cross contaminated from her by my other two best friends who were still in contact. I would not talk to them. Every store I went to, running outside, playing tennis in the neighborhood, I was always on the lookout for seeing her, her mom, or her grandparents. . . . I began hanging out in the bathroom before school and skipping homeroom as to avoid her. If on the first day of class I found out I had some classes with her, I would go to the Dean and switch my classes. . . . I worked at an ice cream store during high school and one evening her grandparents came in. I left through the back ally door and then called up the store and told them I threw up and was embarrassed and left for home. I ran all the way home as to avoid them driving by and contaminating me. . . .
She is still the subject of my obsession more that 20 years later. . . . [I think she lives in another city but] I still feel that I always see her. In every restaurant I go to, grocery store, etc. . . . Pretty much every day I ask someone [if they are this person.] . . . Another big difficulty I have is my dad's house. He still has games from when I was growing up and I am always thinking about that. If one of my relatives visits, the games come out and then I can't go to his house for weeks until the contamination is 'worn off.' . . .
I have been married for 20 years. I am a registered nurse part-time. Really the only stressful thing in my life is OCD."